


toxicology reports

by clickingkeyboards



Category: Murder Most Unladylike Series - Robin Stevens
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bowling Ex Machina, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, First Meetings, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clickingkeyboards/pseuds/clickingkeyboards
Summary: An unknown number messages Hazel an inexplicable link to a toxicology report, and she only bemuses the sender by replying with her own deductions.A wrong number fic
Relationships: Alexander Arcady/Hazel Wong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	toxicology reports

Unknown Number   
  
**Friday** 11:42am   
**Alexander:** here’s the file   
  
**Alexander:** Toxicology Report.docx   
  
**Hazel:** Who is this?   
  
**Alexander:** oh my god i’m so sorry, your number is one off my best friend’s new one    
  
**Hazel:** Why are you sending your best friend toxicology reports, if you don’t mind me asking?   
  
**Alexander:** we’re detectives, i swear i’m not a serial murderer    
  
**Hazel:** I don’t entirely believe that, strangely.   
  
**Hazel:** By the way, the description of the body has overlooked the possibility of the victim being strangled after being drowned, which would explain the saline content of the water in the lungs.   
  
**Alexander:** i have so many questions for you    
  


Unknown Number   
  
**Friday** 2:34pm   
**Alexander:** hi i have no idea why i’m doing this but i thought you’d want to know that my best friend and several police detectives are kicking themselves over not realising what you worked out from a toxicology report, thought you’d want to know   
  
**Hazel:** Well, that does make me feel a lot better. Cheers :)   
  
**Alexander:** i know that this is what gets people serial killed but i am so curious as to what on earth led you to working that out   
  
**Hazel:** I’m a detective.   
  
**Alexander:** what are the chances?   
  
**Hazel:** I’m a detective and my best friend and I had a body the other week that had a similar murder method and none of us could work out why you’d strangle a drowning person and then drop them in a different river to the pond that they were drowned in. After the case ended, my best friend and I ended up figuring that the person was almost drowned, survived, taken to another location, strangled, and dumped. It was too late by that point, of course.   
  
**Alexander:** you are absolutely fascinating. did you catch your killer?   
  
**Hazel:** No, we hit a dead end. We were discharged from the case but they’ve opened a similar case that might be related and taken on different detectives instead of us.   
  
**Alexander:** you seem clever, no idea why they’d do that!   
  
**Hazel:** Me neither! My best friend is furious about it. She knows one of the detectives they’ve taken on, I think, and he’s been rubbing her nose in it since he found out.   
  
**Alexander:** hang on, is your name hazel wong?   
  
**Hazel:** Now I am convinced that you’re a murderer or a stalker.   
  
**Alexander:** no i’m honestly not, hang on   
  
**Alexander:** photo.png   
  
**Alexander:** have this shitty photo of us bowling. i’ll bet you anything you like that this person is the person annoying your best friend    
  
**Hazel:** You’ve intrigued me, hang on.   
  


Alexander Arcady   
  
**Friday** 2:47pm   
**Hazel:** Pleasure to meet you, Alexander Arcady.   
  
**Alexander:** i was right!   
  
**Hazel:** Daisy says that your best friend is a dick.   
  
**Alexander:** he says the same about her, they love each other really    
  
**Hazel:** Oh, and Daisy says that she bets George is shit at bowling. Just asking, did he win?   
  
**Alexander:** yup. to be fair, he’s better than me at most things, but that’s not an amazing metric. kind of like being the tallest dwarf    
  
**Hazel:** Daisy thinks you’re lying.   
  
**Alexander:** i don’t know if you’re looking at what daisy is doing, but she’s just challenged george to bowling    
  
**Hazel:** Of course she has. They’re going to drag us along, obviously.   
  
**Alexander:** naturally    
  


Alexander   
  
**Tuesday** 7:21pm   
**Hazel:** I had fun today!   
  
**Alexander:** me too! of course they drew   
  
**Hazel:** It means that it’ll happen again so I’m not too bothered.   
  
**Alexander:** true, any excuse to see you again   
  
**Alexander:** i didn’t mean for that to come across how it did, sorry    
  
**Hazel:** I don’t believe you. Do you want to get coffee tomorrow? If the crime scene doesn’t kill your appetite.   
  
**Alexander:** i’d like that! :D    
  



End file.
